AWARDS SHOW MANIA: THE OSCARS

Well, that was awkward.

At least, that's what I found myself thinking after sitting through 3 hours of this years Oscars.

James Franco was devoid of personality,

(but his grandma was great, "I just saw Marky Mark!")

and basically all Anne Hathaway did was change dresses a million times and go "WOOO!"

Oh boy...

Well, perhaps due to shock from the utter horror that was watching the event live,

I actually find myself with out much snarkysharky.

Even where, as Berit pointed out, there was an excess of glitter and fluff,

I really didn't mind.

But I grew up on stage, so glitter and fluff are basically my two best friends.

So, deepest apologies for those who enjoy my diva rants, here are my thoughts:

Sandra Bullock,

fresh off of a seriously eventful year,

looks absolutely stunning-

the dress is a jolt of fresh color,

the silhouette is boldly sculpted yet still graceful.

Plus, she speaks fluent german.

Follow the link.

Amy Adams

I love gingers, I love blue, I love sparkles. Rock on.

Halle Berry's Marchesa gown was really beautiful.

But on her, with her incredible skin, perfect pixie cut,

delightful makeup, and gigantic Chopard earrings...

breath taking.

I liked most of the dresses that Anne Hathaway wore,

but this was my favorite.

Very different from any other designs of the night,

the color is incredible, her body looks amazing,

and this is the best hairstyle she wore.

Scarlett Johansson!

oh wait no... its that chick from Winters Bone

(which you all need to see)

As for the real Lady Lost in Translation,

Berit has her thoughts, and I have mine:

saggy boobed lacy sea monster

and haphazardly applied tangerine eyeshadow?

(you knew that I was gonna be at least a LITTLE bit catty :D)

Haley Steinfeld.

an adorable, sweet, princessy, little cupcake dress

a totally precious, talented young actress

I loved her fresh, simple makeup

age appropriate, and with those lashes and that skin,

she looks amazing!

I love that she has left her eyebrows be-

they just add to her youthful charm!

And if all that wasn't cute enough for you:

Helena Bonkers Carter brought the kook in a dress designed by

winner for Best Costume Design (for Alice in Wonderland)

and the more I see of her, the more I just want to be her friend.

She seems so fun and weird!

Michele Williams

Without looking like a grandma,

Ms. Retro manages to find a refined, utterly lovely dress

that suits her pale, vintage, understated style wonderfully-

LOVE the short sleeves!

And check the updated 60's makeup,

all silver eye and peachy lip,

LOVE it!

Continuing her parade of totally awesome dresses,

Florence Welch rocks this creation,

which on any one else would have looked beyond strange.

Penelope Cruz.

um. she had a baby 2 WEEKS AGO.

is there an award of the person I am most jealous of?

that dress is so fun and sassy,

she is so sexy and talented,

her husband is so sexy and talented,

they BOTH already have oscars...

and with all that post-partum glow she looks even better than usual

who knew that was possible?

Miss Selena Gomez's basic red dress.

Plus, I adore her date.

(lets be real, I have the Fever)

Some golden moments from the show included:

Celine Dion, looking like a Canadian angel,

singing "smile" during the touching tribute montage

winning Best Art Direction for Alice in Wonderland,

Robert Stromberg and Karen O'hara put miniature Mad Hatter hats on their oscars.

This awesome NYU grad, who won for Best Short Film for Love

He was so cute and thanked his mom for doing craft services

and his girlfriend for composing the score.

And when

Inception won an award for Best Visual Effects,

I just knew that somewhere,

Joseph Gordon Levitt was all

So, there you have it,

a week late :D

Stay lovely

<3

Claire

EYEBROWS

I have a confession.

Eyebrows matter more to me than almost anything.

I LOVE EYEBROWS

I even love the absence of eyebrows

(JYEAH WORK IT GIRRRL! WHOOOOOPPIIIII!!!)

They simply MAKE a face...

So I understand you are freaked out,

and there isn't much I can do about that,

because I do tend to elicit that reaction from people...

but you are probably also wondering about your own eyebrows.

Too thick? Too thin? Not arched enough? Not straight enough?

The fact is, the rule of thumb is generally:

the harder you work to CHANGE your eyebrows,

the worse they will fit your face

Here are a few celebrity brows I LOVE:

Here's my girl Natalie Portman, one of my favorite Jews,

proving that having well groomed eyebrows can

help you look great even in the weirdest circumstances (BALD?)

They just work on her face!

And the best part? They are natural and effortless looking!

Oh Eva Mendes...

your acting is mediocre, your body fabulous,

AND YOUR EYEBROWS INCREDIBLE!

Unorthodox, highly arched, and thick-

these eyebrows were not created by a stencil.

They work with their natural contours, and complement her face.

most excellent.

DAMN WOMAN.

Halle Berry...

Her face is already perfect, but her eyebrows just frost the cupcake.

Notice how they don't match?

Trying to force your eyebrows to be something they are not is a huge mistake.

These are finely arched and not very dense,

emphasizing her impossibly well sculpted features.

(plus, she named her daughter NAHLA)

Que Bonita! Hey Penelope, how do you say eyebrows in spanish?

Actually, how do you say perfectly dark and wonderfully shaped eyebrows in spanish?

I've nurtured a desire to wake up one day as Keira Knightley since I was 13-

when I saw Pirates of the Caribbean.

Could it have anything to do with the fact that she was snogging Orlando Bloom at age 17?

AU CONTRARE MY FRIENDS.

It is all about those amazingly boyish, thick eyebrows.

They are constantly morphing in shape,

but this picture shows them at their truest glory.

With features like that, skinny little bitch eyebrows would look hideous.

But, these women are simply born gorgeous right?

Their eyebrows don't change their face that much right?

Megan Fox. Widely believed by men to be the ideal woman.

Personally I think she looks like a wax sculpture.

This is post nose-job, pre-eye brow specialist.

from skank to sex queen, and its all in the eyebrows

K. Stew. Most likely doing R. Patt.

Ho F'Sho.

But thats irrelevant.

Here, her eyebrows are natural and work wonderfully on her face.

They are thin, so too much shaping would ruin them.

For example:

WTF? Whenever I see pictures of her now, I get mad.

What is going ON with her left eyebrow?

It looks like Spock!

Whoever did this better hope they don't meet me in a dark alley...

In conclusion: eyebrows DO make a difference.

Work with them, don't pull a K. Stew.

When in doubt, less is more.

Go natural.

Work it girl.

smooches and cherry pie

Claire

oh, here are my eyebrows